She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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