I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
