You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
