McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
