I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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