I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
