Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
