What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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