Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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