I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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