I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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