So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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