I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
