I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
