Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
