Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
