Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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