when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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