i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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