First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
