I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
