so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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