I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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