Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
