Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
