So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize