You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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