"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
