i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
