haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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