My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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