Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
