It's Friday. Sex?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
