He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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