Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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