um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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