Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
