420 ftw
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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