So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
