"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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