How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.