During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?