Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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