its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
