My nipple is on Facebook.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
