so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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