just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
