Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
