ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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