my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
