I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
