After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
