I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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