I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
