The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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