I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
