normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
