I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
