The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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